I didn’t intend to write this post. This was actually supposed to be an outfit post for the upcoming fall season that I had planned out weeks in advance due to the rain.
But alas, I am sharing this news with a heavy heart regarding our beloved cat, Reese.
Recently, my cat had been showing signs of having issues with breathing. She also wasn’t hopping around as much as she usually does, was sleeping a lot, and it seemed that she was losing weight. This was concerning to us, so we made an appointment with a vet to try to see what was going on.
While we went in thinking that it might be a virus or an illness, we had no idea what to expect and were entering in with high hopes. Reese’s a fighter and has been such a beautiful part of our lives for so long that I had no question whatever it was she’d push through.
Then when the doctor looked at her, they felt her lymph nodes and noticed it was very swollen. Similarly to humans, a swollen lymph node is not a good thing and hers was the size of an egg. She immediately informed us that it might be cancer, but she’d do an x-ray to be sure.
After what seemed like hours, they brought is in to look at her x-ray which not only confirmed the worst, but showed us how much fluid is surrounding her organs.
“She has cancer and won’t have much longer to live.”
I can’t remember the last time I sobbed that hard, but I began to feel a lot of emotions rushing over me.
Aside from feeling sad, I felt responsible. I felt like there had to be something I could’ve done or something I did wrong. How did I miss this? How did I not notice this sooner?
My cat, my baby, my best little feline friend had cancer and there was nothing we could do or could’ve done about it. The doctor told us that it was good that we came in when we noticed an issue, but that her cancer was nothing of our doing. It was because as cats age, they have more complications.
The doctor also advised that we put her down. She emphasized that although the decision is up to us, given the circumstances and how much fluid was around her organs, she was essentially drowning from the inside. Seeing that, the image of her x-ray, we knew that her time was now limited.
Although as I am writing this, she is still alive because we cannot bring ourselves to put her down at this time, it’s clear that as time passes that her time is nearing. We don’t know when that time is, but we’re working hard to make sure that she is as comfortable as she can be during this time that our vet described as hospice.
Reese has lived with me through some of the most difficult and joyous moments of my life. She, like many pets, had the ability to know when you were sick or sad and she’d snuggle under you to try to help you feel better. She was spunky, smart, and very intuitive.
I will miss her pretty green eyes and nurturing soul.
I will miss hearing her slip and slide on the hardwood floors of our apartment or running up and down the steps of our home.
I will miss watching her eyes get big as we played with her using her favorite toys.
I will miss being in bed with her snuggled near our feet.
I am going to miss her deeply and there’s honestly no words to describe the pain that I feel. It may seem frivolous to some, but to me Reese was family. She has been a part of our family for so long that I struggle picturing life without her. Yes life will go on, but what will our day-to-day life look like now that she’s no longer with us?
While we are planning to get a new cat one day after that time comes, we cannot ignore the pain we feel from the imminent loss that’s to come.
When we do decide to get a new cat, I will never forget the joy that Reese brought into my life and the many ways she’s been a blessing to our family. I will cherish those memories of her cuddled next to me in bed, snuggling under me when I’m crying or sick, and rambunctiously running around the house and apartment.
I had some posts planned that eventually I will get back to posting, but right now we’re grieving and trying to make the time she has left as comfortable as possible. If you happen to think of us during this time, we would love your prayers and words of encouragement.